A better day for everyone or just those who can manage a computer?

My grandmother is 86 years old and she refuse to use an computer. She resist using a cell phone and believe that the signals of the landphone is in the power cable.
During the last ten years, the banks went from personal service to a fully digital service. And now my grandmother have to pay a fee for getting her bills paid manually.

The last years the bankings service closed over 200 service points and there’s writing about a fully digital strategy.

My grandmother has a state pension, when she need help with that somehow she can’t login to the service and write a message.

I will imagine she have to spend her small pension on a cab and drive to the local state office.

Can’t and will not blame my grandmother to not willing to visit the www.

I want to shed a light the next few months on the digital age and how it can discriminate groups of people that don’t have access to the latest tech and how the ecenomy took a progressive peak – where a class of tech smart or leaders became greedy and those who were left – consumers who pays for it.

I feel somethings not right anymore. I need to adress it.

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MOCAK – modern art in Krakow

Next to the Schindler’s factory is Krakov’s modern art museum a bit out of the center in a suburban area.

I went to visit as I love going to art museums whenever I visit a new city.

The experience was quite different that I expected and represented another ‘reality’ than home.

There were a handful of polish, a Hungarian, Georgian and Russian artists represented. There were a many paintings, a couple of installations and mixed media.

Some of the things that I thought of was that the paintings was of excellent technical quality. There were one of the first paintings I saw were the artist experimented with rectangular space, objects in rooms and coloring. I thought of this artist that he was for the first an excellent realist, even though his paintings were mostly abstract and playing mindtricks with the objects placed in the skewed rooms wich often was classrooms.

The way this artist had all the basis for perspective, it was enjoyable to see how he manipulated the image terribly good.

The Hungarian artists were mostly political and summed up the latest history of political violence. The palette was dark, green, brown and an awful looking pig/skin coloring. It could just as be a 8 years old person choosing this colors except from the message they sent out and the fright and anxiety of the images.

Installations

Maybe for personal reasons was this the most interesting to watch/experience.

I have to mention this artist who made an installation of stativet with hands with painted fingernails attached on and geometrical weird drawings connected to the hands with threads. This artist was letting me in to his universe of his own logically thinking,  wich was not reasonable. I do respect this artist a lot for exhibition his mind in that kind of way and I think the work was highly interesting.

Others to mention was a series of photographies of corpses dressing up in nice clothes. This images was a man high and very frightening.

And talking about frightening.The general theme of the MUCAK was anxiety, fright, similar to post-war artists mentally traumas and very different from the happy-jappy life constructive celebrated art I have seen elsewhere.

A visit to MOCAK is highly recommend. It revoke my curiosity and concern for East European history.

I’m so glad I went.

10 advices to self-integrity from one who had low selfeestem.

I like to think that selfesteem and personal integrity is thorough connected.

To give an example is bragging. A person who constantly overexaggurate his/hers abilities, but can not point to any outcome of the claimed result looses credibility, others faith and his personal integrity as a human over some time.

Where this is connected with selfeestem might lays with person’s belief over bragging as a tool to ewoke others immediate reaction ( and admiration)

Since this don’t have the same effect over time, this person will brag even more and the outcome is terrible.

A better way to brag is to notched it down, this is a brave, sensitive and naked move.

It requires braveness, strenght in your own self perception and a ton of honesty.

Sincerley, this changed my life to gaining confidence  and made me as a stronger person I thought I never be.

Here we go:

  1. Think of how you express yourself: Do you compare your abilities like it was a competition and use your vocabulary like that?
  2. It’s not dangerous to admit that you were wrong or had bad judgemental decision at that time. Try to establish that time is relative.
  3. Tell just things how it is. No melodrama. People will more likely catch up your perception of how things was and accordingly add more drama into the story. (Wich is unecessary and destrucctive)
  4.  Ask yourself the importance to win a situation. It’s very unlikely it’s a question of life or death.
  5. When feeling unsecure in a situation think about those who love you. (And those you love) Imagine them cheering for you. It helps any situation!
  6. Listen, we have all a lot of stuff to spill our hearts out to, but listening to what the others might have to say will make your problem different.
  7. Breaks. Sweet breaks in the dialogue. You can lead the conversation whereever you want with these breaks. Say less. break more. Get the attention.
  8. Make place for your emotions, even I wrote about this in 3. try to make space for them by talking them out with a trusted advisor, mentor, friend, terapist, coach, psycihatrist because the grudges and negative thoughts are better spilled out another place than on your friends, coworkers, parents, boss or other poor bypassers.
  9. Know your limits, if they are overruled or getting pissed on. Be strict and say it once as soon as possible. Explain why their action made you feel that way.
  10. You will never be best forever, don’t waste it on selfpity or beating yourself up.

With these advices I wish ya’ll for a peaceful  and insightful 2016.

When is it not okay to seduce customers anymore?

Most of us are allready known with a that many sites on the net is tracked with cookies, and some of the sites follow us up with email with commercial purposes.
Back to the basics are they different frequency and time when users go online to surf.
There are different occations and there are different puposes.
Remarketing is one of this technologies that reminds the user wich product he/she looked at. Zalando.com are hugh at remarketing.
We learned about how consumerbehavior patterns and I met the wall earlier with the ethics.

Were will the thin line go where these technologies in a comming future get so accurate that the time when a ad is wiewed, will it have a 100% clickthrough rate with a goal conversion.
A clickthorugh is when a users sees an ad, click on it and lands on the site where the product/content is suppose to be.
A goal conversion is when the users i buying ( t.ex creditcard confirmation site)

A more detailed question is: Where is the line where user manipulation in that state where the individual user’s psychology ( consumer behavior) is predicted and “controlled” by the company who sells stuff or the political party that want to influence?

I think of it like this:

If the consumer’s behaviour is measured to a fixed pattern over a lifetime.
And if the ads hits on the right moment in this users web experience were they are 100% likely to buy.
If a company or AI can have the control of this.
Then it must be dicussed.

Are we there yet?

I thought I was loosing it.

Running a small company was harder than expected. ( but also a wonderful journey towards insight)

It went so awesome the first year, clients just made contact, projects were launched, hopes and porsperity was insight.
Then there were interruption of economy and illness wich resulted in a two month break.
Comming back to work was crazy – being adviced to give it up, to cancel contracts and to be reduced to just another person who have to start from scratch again.

Then lot of old attidude and selfperception of bad experiences and low selfeestem appeared.
And another three months with weak decicionmaking until the positivness of the spring came.
I choose to continue and it hardly passes days when I doubt this decision.

The enemy is my selfperception: I’m too lazy, I’m not sturctured and I’m not qualified enough.
Things and stuff takes longer time than planned and unexpected problems shows up not in good timing at all.

The goverment of tax is focused on details and nuances I could not imagined, but not as scary sales negotiaons feels sometimes.
And the feeling of inadequacy really gets to me when I realise to little are produced realtive to the effort I strive for everyday.
Then I start making a accountance of imagination of how less it is/I am and not relative at all to what I do.

And then I think that I’m just on another journey to loosen it because I doing a lot, but producing and creating less than last year.
Then a person tells me that’s a lie after an hour of conversation and tells me that concerns after 01 AM should not be taken so seriously.

And she is right: I’m actually working more, more than earlier just diffrent and it does not show the same way as last year.
That it is my selfperception of what is “real” work that drag it down, and might perception of others of what is “valid” work.
I might loose concentration and get exhausted too… that’s normal.

I realise that I’m not loosing it anymore, I’m still developing and it moves forwards to something bigger than me.
And I need to keep calm and navigate through new stuff.

One-day photographing

I took a couple of photos in a city today and I just called this tiny one-day project for “Windows”

There’s not much to say about them, some of the buildings means something but this is more about repetition, light/shadow, sky and nuances of grey.

There’s one “red” image that I kept of interest because of the intense red color on that building.

I used a Nikon Coolpix P7700 and some basic functions in Photoshop.

Walking slowly forward feeling like disapearing in a hole of quicksand.

After comming home from WCEU, wich was a tremendous relief and inspiration, continuing were I was became a harder part.

I’m not sure about what it was/is: The lack of colleagues, back to the ‘reality’ , unsolved problems that is connencted to taxes and VAT regulations or the huge amount of expectations that I mainly set for myself.

During the summer I’ve set up some goals that I wanted to achieve:

IQ analytics exam, building a customer communication system, get customers, redecorating and two more that I don’t remember.

This far things did offcourse take a bit longer than I thought and I knew it, but still spended the whole week upon beating myself up everyday for the slow progress ending in taking more time off than expected.

The week just slowly passed by as a turtle fumling in sand and remember was worrying about bills and the future while actually crying a bit over not being stated in a happy fun place with happy creative colleagues where all of us popping social and cool ideas while dancing to happy indiepop music.

something like that.

This week was all I can remember was 3 downers:

I thought I was VAT registered, but found out by coincidence that the accountant that had this job had not registered last year.

Did not pass the IQ test,  13% questions was wrong even the assessement test was 90%, wich makes me feel like a moron and a loser.

(I passed it easily last year, why is it so… hard this year?!)

It’s quite ok that I don’t remember the third right now, but sometimes I just have this general feeling that I’m a fraud and when I get questions I can’t answer some people especially those who were developers or bosses saying: Don’t you know? Everybody knows that! Makes me feel worth nothing.

I’m not going to cry over idiots, I see that many people tend to think that the stuff they know about knows everybody, strangely enough and that how you carry stuff on the way is how you can be in control of your own prosperity.

But some days it feels like I am walking a longer and slower way in the wrong direction and I don’t know who to turn to.

The mind seemed cluttered and the path is not there anymore. I think I read about if the situation is like that you should just aim for the mountain and walk in that direction.

So let’s say I lost the track of the mountain or maybe the meaning of finding the mountain.

Other thoughts that catched up on me was the lack of a top higher education, my income compared to my friends and the state of my apartement.

And offcourse everything of these three was not ok. The delusion of a safe foundation is not there measured in normal status of succesfull goals in life like a bachelor/masters degree, income of 400 000 NOK /y or a Instagram like apartement or something.

So with this in mind I’d keep beating myself and remembering all kinds of downers happend to me in the past.

And then I started complaining and blaming stuff on my parents, the society, the politics, my neighbours, my former accountant, my former bosses, my teachers, my doctor, my ex and so on until I blame everything again only on myself while writing this.

Wow, I’d really hope I can get this downtime to go away.