Running a small company was harder than expected. ( but also a wonderful journey towards insight)
It went so awesome the first year, clients just made contact, projects were launched, hopes and porsperity was insight.
Then there were interruption of economy and illness wich resulted in a two month break.
Comming back to work was crazy – being adviced to give it up, to cancel contracts and to be reduced to just another person who have to start from scratch again.
Then lot of old attidude and selfperception of bad experiences and low selfeestem appeared.
And another three months with weak decicionmaking until the positivness of the spring came.
I choose to continue and it hardly passes days when I doubt this decision.
The enemy is my selfperception: I’m too lazy, I’m not sturctured and I’m not qualified enough.
Things and stuff takes longer time than planned and unexpected problems shows up not in good timing at all.
The goverment of tax is focused on details and nuances I could not imagined, but not as scary sales negotiaons feels sometimes.
And the feeling of inadequacy really gets to me when I realise to little are produced realtive to the effort I strive for everyday.
Then I start making a accountance of imagination of how less it is/I am and not relative at all to what I do.
And then I think that I’m just on another journey to loosen it because I doing a lot, but producing and creating less than last year.
Then a person tells me that’s a lie after an hour of conversation and tells me that concerns after 01 AM should not be taken so seriously.
And she is right: I’m actually working more, more than earlier just diffrent and it does not show the same way as last year.
That it is my selfperception of what is “real” work that drag it down, and might perception of others of what is “valid” work.
I might loose concentration and get exhausted too… that’s normal.
I realise that I’m not loosing it anymore, I’m still developing and it moves forwards to something bigger than me.
And I need to keep calm and navigate through new stuff.
I’ve attended Wordcamp Europe in Seville, Spain this weekend and it was a wonderful and breathtaking experience.
There will be probaly many blogposts like this writing about a a tech confrence were there are an unik and friendly community, superb organized complete camp with delicious food and interesting speakers with different themes and solutions.
I’m currently sitting a bit outside Malaga and writing this in the dark of the spanish dusk at a hotel balcony by the beach with a pedestrian zone four floors under me.
I wanted to pull back a little after the camp to sleep, relax and reflect.
There were about 800 attendees this year and the Organizers choose a hotel with a convention center a few minutes (with a cab) from the center.
I write it right away: It was a highly well organised convention center with the right amount of coffee, juice, croissants for breakfast and a variety of sandwiches, tapas and small dishes, lemonade and beer (!) for lunch.
I am going to write a bit about some of the speaks from this camp wich I was attending to so I will not cover all the speaks in this blogpost.
The one I choose write about are:
Rian Rietveld – The accessibility speak.
The PHP 7 story -Zeev Suraski
Tom Willmot – Distributed, Open source and Hapiness
Mark Jaquith – WordPress Etichs
Amelia Andersdotter & Anders Jensen Urstad – Privacy and data protection
The Accessibility speak with Rian Rietveld.
Rian Rietvield is a female developer from the Netherlands who is on the WordPress Accessibility team and who is specialized on Accesibility issues.
Accessibility is one of the topics I am engaged about because is 20% of the population have one or other disability.
A disability can ex. be colorblindness, hearing impared, blindness or you can just slightly have a bad seeing vision.
This matter to a lot of us and by not make websites accesible you therefore exclude 20% of the population on web.
You will also probaly grow older and likely get a some kind of disability so it matters in the long term to anybody.
This gentle yet strong woman has a blog where she adresses some of the highlights in her speak, wich was:
I had a little chat with her on the contributor day were she also adresses the problems of female programmers bad selfesteem of their skills.
This is problems are also adressed at her blog.
The PHP 7 story with Zeev Suraski
Zeev Suraski is the principal authors of the PHP langauage way back to 1997.Zeev co-founded Zend Technologies in 1999, serves as its CTO and leads the company’s R&D teams.
PHP 7 will be released around autumn/winter and this is is seen as a milestone.
As I’m not a developer I see PHP code in my daily work and thinks it awesome how amazing and functional this langauage is.
Among many thousand apsps is Facebook developed in PHP.
The development of PHP had/has a major impact on WordPress as it getting faster, more reliable and stable.
From WordPress 3.6 to 4.1 WordPress loads almost double as fast.
Other CMS like Joomla, Drupal and Magento are also buildt in PHP.
PHP is an serversided HTML embedded scripting langauage wich means for me that it additionally to HTML makes functions and make it possible for the “website” to pull data from the database.
More details on this speak can be watched on slideshare or get updated on Zeev’s blog.
Tom Willmot A highly motivational speak about distributed companies, Open source and Hapiness.
Tom Willmot is the co-founder and CEO of Humanmade.
They developed among many AirBNB, Skype and Happytables wich is a WordPress plugin for restaurants.
Tom Willmot engage in freedom, individuality, trust and science.
He showed to research that shows how people solve creative tasks better without timetaking and monetoring.
It does not matter how the employees are solving their tasks as long as they do it in accordingly for the best quality.
The company Humanmade is buildt upon people that is working from all around the world with different timezones. He reffered to a company model were there is no static workhours and were the individual are free to work whereever they want even there is from home, at the beach, in a coworking space or whatever.
He told about how they created companies in some of the different lands so that they could follow jurisdiction of employment.
Tom Willmot worked at “normal” job in other companies before he and his brother landed some solid projects they could evolve this 100% distributed company were everybody is working remotely.They meetup once and a while I’m writing this they are all gathered over the sea were am sitting, in Morocco at a company vacation.
Humanmade live by the communication channel Slack and Zoom for video calling.
Mark Jaquith – WordPress Etihcs
Mark Jaquith is one of the lead developers of the WordPress core and offers freelance WordPress consulting services through Covered Web Services with a focus on scaling, security, and custom functionality.
The speak was about WordPress work etihcs and how the community should treat eachother and their end-users.
This talk made me really reflect on some things, mainly how the WordPress community and WordPress designers, developers, everybody who does WordPress related work are handling our day to day blog, business, work or sales.
Amelia Andersdotter has been a Member of the European Parliament. She currently engages in privacy and data protection advocacy in Sweden.
Andersen Jensen Urstadwas an professional pirate in the European Parliament he’s now involved in Dataskydd.net, a Swedish organization working on data protection issues, and works for a library doing things with open access and free software. He’s interested in intellectual property law.
The last years protection of privacy on web have become popular issue and with the snowden case wich was uppsetting a made a lot of wawes there were a lot of remarkable information this couple speaked of.
Like 90% of all swedish govermental sites are tracked with no clear intention or answer about why.
That tracking data may be held in that country the servers are located and therefore are under that country’s jurisdiction.
98% of the web is tracked by cookies.
That 70% of gathering of sensitive data has happen under the reason of justified interests.
It’s been storm about this as well in Norway lately when they found out about fake base stations around businesses and govermental locations.While the goverment announced that this was about security and only survelliance of suspects of terror. The businesses went silence.
This speak was definitively a cross of mind for me as human with the right to know, my own integrety and privacy.
Also this adresses my business wich tracks our clients sites wih Google Analytics for measuring design and user experience.
I learned about Piwik wich is a tracking tool where the site administrator/user/customer is entitled to own their data.
After this speak I will throughly think/write about how far Nettmeis wants to protect our clients and their clients.
Volunteers, Contributor Day and Disclosure.
I feel so lucky. The amazing experience of Seville and high level quality speaks on Wordcamp this year along with an loving, incredible community made this trip the main fireworks of the year for me.
I spoke with my role models Matt Mullenweg, Sara Rosso, Organizers from Scandinavia and other countries.
I spoke with my heroes of miscellaneous types of themes and Plugin I’ve use.
I has to admit that is was Awesome to sit in a bubblebath with the required + folks, conversate with 10up and talk with the guy I submit tickets to at codeable on the main afterparty.
I still get pretty starstuck and this event was a clear night sky.
A travel to another country for 3 days the speaks and meeting WordPress community from all over Europe made me grow more intellectuallly than I have done the last year.
After a great week with multiple friends, party and social events a growing feeling of need came to me.
I wanted to be alone.
I had a pretty clear imagination of this and how it was going to be:
Me staring out on the windows at the trees from my home in total silence.
Remembering a tune called: “Silence is the new sound” with Prefuse 73 while I was thinking of this.
I came home and made a simple meal of noodles, salad and salmon eating and thoughts, plans and imagination appeared to my mind.
I’m a quite social person and I’m dependent of people as they maybe are dependent on me.
I was in a relationship, too long.
My ex and I found out to split up and I got over the time with bad economy, lonesomness,anger and fear of being a total idiot when I could not manage stuff as before, I went through a personality change.
Not meaning the crazy one, I leaved that behind in the wrecked relationship.
I got stronger by stop caring about superficially opinions regarding how people should be, income, their status and etc.
There I found that a bit of my personality started over again from I was 18 years old, when I was single, starting to form independent thoughts and dreams for my future mixed together with all my life and proffesional experience from the twenties.
Suddenly I was seing and hearing myself talk, not just talk away.
Things I said made some kind of an echo as I heard how little I know about the world and about my country when I was talking.
What the darn did I do while I was in relationship for all this years and I can taste the bitter sweetness from the past of regrets.
Then I left the regrets, still keeping some strange habits like excusing for that my hair is wet from the shower, cutting vegetables in tiny dices because bigger chunks aren’t good enough, fixated on secure passwords and still… not really trusting a guy if he want to get closer to me.
This thing with enjoying alone, is awesome and “hear” myself think is making me more confident in my own decisions and patience.
I think I became a better listener and listen to really what other are saying and expressing I mean is containing a whole lot of information.
Having a “real” and concentrated conversation is to me like reading a great book.
I think people can sense of you’re listening or not, wether it’s on the phone, social media chat or whereever.
What I really want is to have more time to reflect over my friends conversation. I feel that reflecting gathers a whole lot more conversation and emotional information that I don’t catch in the moment.
Alone is awesome experience of getting a deeper dive into awarness and not sleeping in a relationship comfort zone.
( I’m not judging good and right relationship, you other folks, and I probaly hope to believe one day that I’d be lucky too)
I’ve started a company last year in April: Sonyeo Visuell Kommunikasjon Johanson.
It went very well, I had a succesfull project with prints and sites and a mobile site.
The site was build with Foundation 5 and I used a clean template and a child theme to owerwrite it.
I got some help from a nice developer in India as well to connect the mobile site on development.
It was a straight forward job and the client was happy.
This client is still with me and I worked hard on the customer service side to keep up the good work.
In June an artist contacted me via FB and she wanted a art webshop.
I worked on this through my whole summer holiday and in August I got ill.
At this point aI have’nt got any insurance and I was sick for 2 months.
This was an disaster.
Also at this time my fiance would’nt coop and left me in November, just when I got home from the hospital.
I’ve struggled with loneliness, really bad finances, bills and friends who left me because I was not… I don’t know
maybe not interesting enough anymore.
I found myself unemployd, poor and really upset.
I think this must have been one of my hardest struggles I’ve ever gone through in my proffesional and private life.
And I guess I’m still quite moderate and careful with people and passwords.
Then came the point of return.
A guy saw me, he gave me a job in a local WordPress company.
I was almost perfect: Short travelling, a desk, an new keyboard, food – lunch.
And the most important was selfesteem and value.
I was producing banners, went to Google courses, websites, twitter and the best thing I got help to fulfill the talented artis’s dreams about a webshop.
A startup based in Oslo that deliver Adwords,Wordpress developement and social media.
In March we launched the webshop. Just a month before my CEO found out she got a hugh amount on fans on FB.
Right after there was an Open Art exhibition.
It was incredible. Under the open exhibition she got a lot of visitiors that was travelling from other cities.
We’ve been keeping up the contact and developemnt of this site: and it going well.
One of the days she got request from the North to send a large painting and her gallerists is quite happy, I think.
The site consist of a gallery, News, About and a Woo commerce webshop.
Through tough times there’s people who knows you and sees you I think.
There’s people who loves you and want to help you.
There’s also people who pull back and then you really get’s to know who’s there for you.
People from the WordPress community reached out to me. I’ve never could have done it without you.