I like to think that selfesteem and personal integrity is thorough connected.
To give an example is bragging. A person who constantly overexaggurate his/hers abilities, but can not point to any outcome of the claimed result looses credibility, others faith and his personal integrity as a human over some time.
Where this is connected with selfeestem might lays with person’s belief over bragging as a tool to ewoke others immediate reaction ( and admiration)
Since this don’t have the same effect over time, this person will brag even more and the outcome is terrible.
A better way to brag is to notched it down, this is a brave, sensitive and naked move.
It requires braveness, strenght in your own self perception and a ton of honesty.
Sincerley, this changed my life to gaining confidence and made me as a stronger person I thought I never be.
Here we go:
- Think of how you express yourself: Do you compare your abilities like it was a competition and use your vocabulary like that?
- It’s not dangerous to admit that you were wrong or had bad judgemental decision at that time. Try to establish that time is relative.
- Tell just things how it is. No melodrama. People will more likely catch up your perception of how things was and accordingly add more drama into the story. (Wich is unecessary and destrucctive)
- Ask yourself the importance to win a situation. It’s very unlikely it’s a question of life or death.
- When feeling unsecure in a situation think about those who love you. (And those you love) Imagine them cheering for you. It helps any situation!
- Listen, we have all a lot of stuff to spill our hearts out to, but listening to what the others might have to say will make your problem different.
- Breaks. Sweet breaks in the dialogue. You can lead the conversation whereever you want with these breaks. Say less. break more. Get the attention.
- Make place for your emotions, even I wrote about this in 3. try to make space for them by talking them out with a trusted advisor, mentor, friend, terapist, coach, psycihatrist because the grudges and negative thoughts are better spilled out another place than on your friends, coworkers, parents, boss or other poor bypassers.
- Know your limits, if they are overruled or getting pissed on. Be strict and say it once as soon as possible. Explain why their action made you feel that way.
- You will never be best forever, don’t waste it on selfpity or beating yourself up.
With these advices I wish ya’ll for a peaceful and insightful 2016.